Stop Talking 

We’ve all done it, told our kids to “stop talking”. Be it because we are attempting to have an adult conversation, because it’s bedtime or because we really need to hear which direction Siri is telling us to go.  

Some have said it sooner then others. Some, like me, just recently started saying it. Some say it 100 times a day. Others, rarely say it. 

Truth be told, not everyone says it. Ever. Because their kids never talk. 

I swore I would never, ever say those words. When I would hear parents talking about how their kids “wouldn’t shut up” or yelling at them to “stop talking”, my heart broke and my blood boiled. I felt the most aching pain in my chest. I couldn’t tell if the tears I was crying were out of anger or sadness. 

You see, just about two years ago, my son didn’t talk. At a year old he was saying momma, dada, dog, cat, up, down, jump, hotdog, and so much more. I thought he was ahead of the crowd with his speech, and he was. But then, around 18 months, he completely stopped talking. His pediatrician chalked it up to being a boy, that he was focusing more on his movements (walking, climbing, exploring). I begged her for a referral, she told me he was “just a boy” and to wait until at least two years old to worry. 

I finally had enough, I switched pediatricians. Immediately his pediatrician gave me the referral. She agreed that maybe I was concerned for no reason but respected my concern. 

He had an evaluation done through a private Speech Therapist, as well as through Help Me Grow. Immediately, Help Me Grow wanted to “diagnose” him with Autism. His Private Therapist heavily disagreed. She continued testing and according to her tests and extensive research, he has Speech Apraxia (feel free to google). Which is commonly misdiagnosed as Autism – very common as both have many similar signs. 

We began therapy. I began hating, envying and despising parents who’s kids were talking up a storm and proudly showing off their communication skills via social media. Even worse, I actually wanted to punch people who complained about their kids talking or whom I heard telling their kids to shut up or to stop talking. 

Many, many nights, I prayed and cried myself to sleep. I wondered if I would ever hear the words “I love you”. I wondered if I would ever be called when I was needed, if my son would ever be able to tell me when he’s hurt, what hurts, if he was happy, what his favorite color, food or shirt was. If he would be able to tell me if someone hurt him, made fun of him or if he had a best friend. I worried about how he would get through life if he never talked. How would anyone understand him? How could he possibly make it through school if he couldn’t talk and the only way he knew to communicate was by screaming, throwing a fit, or using his little body? Certainly I thought, my baby will never have friends because everyone will think he’s a bully or a bad child. 

What people didn’t know, and what I’m failing to say is, that is the only way (even knowing sign language) he knew how to communicate with other people and his peers. He wasn’t (and sometimes, still) doing it to be mean. He was frustrated. He knew what he wanted to say. He is incredibly intelligent. But there’s something, a disconnect between his brain and his mouth, that was making it so he couldn’t get the words out. 

Can you imagine how frustrating that would be? To know exactly what you want to say but when you open your mouth, the words don’t come? Or if they do, it comes out as complete gibberish that no one besides your mom can understand?  

I used to have nightmares when I was younger where I was being kidnapped and I was surrounded by people as I was being kidnapped. I would scream as loud as I could… But no sound came out. I would scream “Help me! Why is no one helping me? Can you not hear me?!” And no one in my dreams even so much as looked at me or acknowledged that I was being kidnapped. That’s the same feeling I imagine he felt. He had all the words and knew exactly what to say, but nothing came out and there was no guarantee or estimated time that the words would ever come. 

Fast forward to 416 speech therapy sessions later. He talks. A lot. Sometimes, he talks so fast, it comes out as gibberish. His mouth is still learning to produce words and sound as quickly as his brain is. 416 speech therapy sessions, plus his sessions through Help Me Grow and the work we do around the clock as parents. 

That is A LOT of extra work and play for a little boy. He has fought so damn hard to get to where he is today and I couldn’t be more proud of him. 

Some kids, never, ever talk. So when I find myself telling Hudson to stop talking, my heart hurts. Guilt consumes me. I literally want to punch myself. Who says that to a little boy who has fought so damn hard to have the ability to interrupt my adult conversation? Me. I do. And it kills me every.single.time. It brings me back to those nights when I would lay in his bed as he slept, telling him I love him and repeating the word “momma” in his ear, over and over and over again in hopes that if I said it enough times, he would say it. 

So excuse me the next time I allow my child to interrupt our adult conversation. We are teaching him manners. But I also don’t want him to think that I don’t want him to talk. And if you do hear me tell him to stop talking, just know, my heart & brain is not with you in the following moments as guilt is consuming me. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away. I’m not so sure I want it to. It reminds me of all we (Hudson) has fought and worked so hard for. 
Cheers 🍷

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Baby Steps 

Y’all I am about to share something that makes me want to vomit. A womans body is amazing, it carries babies & brings them into this world. But it also takes a huge hit for doing such a beautiful thing. The photo I’m about to share (if I can work up the courage to share this) is proof of that. 

I had 3 babies in 2 years, 2 weeks. I had 3 pregnancies in that time. Each & every person that commented on my pregnancy photos or saw me in person during my two “sticky” pregnancies, told me how tiny I was. I sure didn’t feel it. Especially not with the twins. I felt like a blue whale. 

I worked out occasionally the first few (6) months after the twins were born, but it was pretty rare. Then I started a workout routine at home, I added running to that. Eventually I got a gym membership. 

It’s been a year since the photo on the left was taken. If you can believe it, that was after I started working out. I probably could have done better, faster. But I like ice cream & an occasional cheeseburger. The weight didn’t immediately fall off like it did after I had Hudson, in fact, I’m pretty sure I gained weight after giving birth to the twins 😳 but we will never know. I avoided the scale like the plague. 

I’ve taken baby steps & I’m going to crawl in a hole & die of embarrassment when I post this. 

I hope by sharing this, someone remembers to take progress photos. 

I hope someone is reminded that it takes baby steps. You won’t see results immediately [in most, normal cases]. 

I hope someone sees that you can do it, without magic pills, drinks or wraps. 

I hope someone sees that everyone starts somewhere. 

I hope someone takes a baby step today, because a year from now, you will see it in your photos. 

Here’s where baby steps have gotten me. 


I still feel like the blue whale in the first photo. I don’t see the image in the photo on the right when I look in the mirror. I don’t feel lighter, I don’t feel more in shape, I don’t even believe I have “toned” up. But photos [normally] don’t lie. 

My goal this year isn’t to lose weight (lies, yes it is) my goal is to learn to love myself, to be a better person & to live a healthier lifestyle. 

I hope a year from now, I look in the mirror & I’m happy with my progress & I actually feel like I’ve made progress in becoming a healthier person. 

Cheers 🍷

The Gym Changed Me & Now I’m Going Insane. 

Three months ago I decided to make a change. I signed up for my first gym membership in over a decade. I was nervous (I think they call us Resolutioners), excited & ready to give it my all. I was sick of living a mediocre kind-of-healthy lifestyle. 

Secretly, I was most excited about the (up to) two hours of alone time, away from my kids. I know how bad that sounds. But it’s not bad. Moms need to take care of themselves, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Of course, I feel guilty saying that but it’s true. I am with my kids & oncall 168 hours a week – on average. I deserve up to 14 hours a week to myself. 

I had no idea how much a hard workout would change me. At first I wondered if it was really worth everything it took to go to the gym. If you know me, you know I don’t carry a diaper bag. Unless we are planning a trip for an entire day. My kids don’t wear socks (their choice, not mine). Their shoes are kept in the car. They refuse to wear them & if I put them on before leaving the house, I spend 30 minutes searching for 6 tiny shoes in my SUV. 

It was taking an hour to get us out of the house. 15 minutes to get 3 kids out of the truck, socks, shoes, hats, jackets on, in the stroller, making sure I had sippy cups, snacks, extra clothes, swimsuits (in case we decided to go swimming), diaper bag, my gym bag & so on. Then to get inside, a bathroom stop for Hudson, sign them in, put shoes back on, name tags on & handing them over. 

They’re all great about it… Except one… Hudson runs away from me as fast as he can, barely giving me a hug & saying bye. Emmalyn slowly walks in. Looking over her shoulder at me waiting for me to tell her it’s okay & to have fun. Landry…. She is in an awful seperation anxiety phase (at least I hope it’s a phase) ever since her hospital stay in December. She screams, cries, throws herself on the ground kicking & flailing. At first, I tortured everyone & stayed trying to calm her. I’ve learned it’s best to just walk away. She calms down within two minutes. As soon as she knows I’m gone. 

Sometimes (especially those first couple weeks) I’m called back, mid-workout to go change a diaper, to give a snack, to soothe a sad child. It was frustrating. I think one day, I was called back 4 times in an hour. 

I was really concerned about Hudson. I don’t talk about it much but Hudson has a speech delay & I was really worried about his ability to communicate & play with large groups of kids. When he gets frustrated, or doesn’t know how to communicate effectively with his peers, he tends to lash out – by hitting & pushing. He is also very stingy & wants everything any other kid has. I constantly worry about how others see him. I worry they will think he’s a horrible kid, that he’s a jerk, that I’m a bad mom. I thought for sure we would get kicked out of the gym. But, we haven’t & he’s been insanely well behaved… Except for one incident. Which if you ask me, isn’t so bad for 50+ trips to the daycare. Obviously we had a talk but nothing has happened since & I felt I was partially to blame as we went at 3:30pm, with no naps, before dinner. 

His speech & behavior has actually improved!!! And the staff is SO wonderful & patient with him. 

I made up my mind & knew that while it was a lot of work, we all need the gym. Even if a 1-2 hour workout turned into a half day adventure. 

Our routine changed so much. 

I started prepping breakfast for the week on Sunday’s. I always chuckled at people who took so much time to meal prep. Who has that kind of time & why would you want to waste time you could be spending with your family, on cooking? Jokes on me. I spent 20 minutes making those meals. Saving me 20+ minutes a day (or 2.5+ hours a week). 

When I’d wake up in the morning (before my kids, at 5am, two hours earlier then I was waking up), I would grab some coffee, start the dishwasher, drink an entire cup (or three) of coffee. Pick up some random things around the house, start a load of laundry & get dressed in my gym clothes… Before my kids ever even woke up. 

When my kids woke up, I’d change them, get them dressed in actual clothes instead of rocking the pjs all day, everyday. Bring them to the kitchen, nuke their breakfast (a whopping 1 minute, 20 seconds), slice some fruit & they’d eat while I unloaded the dishwasher, wiped the kitchen down, swept & maybe even a quick mop. Then I’d immediately put the dishes in the dishwasher, wash their trays & clean up their mess from breakfast. 

I’d get everyone changed & we’d head out to the gym. 

We were all exhausted by the time we got home from the gym. I’d keep the music up, talk to the kids & open the windows to keep them awake on our drives home. We would have lunch & I’d put all three kids down for nap. I forgot how much I love when all my kids nap 🙌🏻 

It was so tempting to take a nap with them. But I don’t. Instead, I clean (sweeping the whole house, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the play room & bathrooms), do laundry, organize a closet or some days, I just sat on the deck enjoying a hot cup of coffee. 

If I hadn’t already planned or started dinner, I’d figure it out while they napped. 

When they woke up, the house was clean, we’d have snack, I’d start the dishwasher again, then we had craft & school activities. Some days we watched a movie & had popcorn just because we could & it was cold out. Before my husband & dad came home, most days, I would clean the playroom again, vacuum again & then start dinner. 

When dinner was done, dishes were immediately loaded into the dishwasher, the kids would either go play or have bath & the kitchen was cleaned. 

The kids would be tired & fall asleep almost immediately after we left their room. My husband & I would go clean the playroom, the kitchen, swap & fold laundry & vacuum – we vacuum a lot in our house. At least twice a day as I let the kids have crackers at the kid table & they sometimes (ha! Most times) don’t keep them there. 

Our house was clean. Not perfect, but way cleaner then it was before. We would go to bed to a clean house & wake up to a clean house. 

Things started taking less time. Be it loading the kids up to go places, making dinner, picking up the house. We could find things easier, we were throwing things out left & right, when we saw a mess or crap on the floor, we would tend to it immediately. 

I was so tired at night. Seriously, exhausted (ask my dad, he had to wake me up one night when Hudson was awake at 1am raising hell with the dogs 😳). I used to stay up at all hours watching Netflix. Since going to the gym, I could barely make it through a single episode. But I woke up feeling so refreshed. I was sleeping less but less tired through the day & I had more energy. 

I found myself yelling less (Yeah. Really bad flaw of mine. I’m not proud of it). I wouldn’t get so worked up over trivial things. I had more patience with my kids (and husband 😬). I wasn’t feeling as overwhelmed as I was before. I felt like I was breathing easier, less anxiety. I didn’t feel so exhausted & worn out that I just wanted to let my kids go play independently, I was interacting more with them. I was allowing messes (from crafts, activities, sensory bins) to be made without losing my shit because it was an easy clean up. 

My kids weren’t getting bored & being as mischievous. They weren’t acting out as much. Their appetites improved. 

With increased appetites in 3 toddlers, I was at the grocery store more. I found myself reading labels (who does that?!? 😜), buying TONS of fruit & veggies. We’ve always been big on fruits & veggies. But now, half or more of our grocery bill was fruit & veggies. I’m buying less crap, and cooking healthier. I swear the cashier looked at me like I was crazy when I had 6 cucumbers, a cantaloupe, 6 peppers, watermelon, lettuce, raspberries, apples, oranges & more then came back a couple days later for the same things. 

Some of this stuff has been intentional changes, others, not so much. It literally just happened. I couldn’t be happier with the improvements – well. That’s a lie. I’d be happier to be down 30lbs 😜 

The changes in my weight aren’t coming as quickly as the other things above. Which is annoying. And frustrating. But eventually, I’ll see something more then a few pounds & toning. My clothes are fitting nicer. Some are way too big which is great. 

But…. 

Yep…. That’s a but. 

But now, I’m going insane.

I’m being a responsible adult & I had to put my membership on hold for a month. Or at least for a few weeks. Hence why you haven’t seen all my awesome gym posts.

It’s for personal reasons. It’s not really personal. It’s money. We have the money. I can spend the money. There’s just something else I want, so I’m making a temporary sacrifice to get something bigger. 

As my dad always (annoyingly) tells me, “I need to see the bigger picture”. 

Y’all have no idea how much I dislike when he says that to me. It hits a nerve. But here I am, doing it. Even if it is driving me insane. 

I’ve become addicted to the gym & I’m going insane without it.

I expect each & every one of you reading this to make sure my gym membership is active & going no later then April 1st. – As if Hudson begging me every.single.day to go to the gym isn’t going to be enough. 

Unless you think I should start a GoFundMe? 😜😂

I’m obviously joking. There are much greater causes out there. 

I’ll just have to suffer through some lame at home, online workouts 🙄😑 which I hate. And are not doing me like the gym was. 

I AM NOT FALLING OFF THE WAGON. As soon as my bigger item is acquired, you’ll see my reactivation post. Until then, let’s pray I don’t get put in an institution. 

Shea Baby 

Ha! I’m cracking up over that title. I keep thinking of Austin Powers. 

So here it is. 

Shea Moisture African Black Soap! This stuff is AMAZING! 

First product – $3.99 at Target 

I use it 2-3 times a day. When I wake up, after I workout & before bed. It’s super gentle so no worries about it destroying your skin. 


Second product – $14.99 at Target 

Now, this one says to use it “weekly or as needed”. You saw my face. I need it like 24/7. So I use it in the morning & in the evening. You only need it on 10 minutes. I’ve been using it a bit longer then that. 


Lastly, I have been using this as I read the above products have a tendency to dry your skin out. I have a oily but dry skin type & I used to use this product without it causing trouble. So I grabbed some of this too. I only used it about 2-3 times just to make sure my skin doesn’t flake. I know this didn’t assist in clearing my skin up but I think it helped prevent drying my skin out. So add this in, your total cost is $25. 


Compared to a facial, Botox, chemical peels or the other products I was using, this is a super cheap & painless route to go when trying to clear up problematic skin! 

All About That Face 

Ever since I started going to the gym, my face looks like it was hit by a bus. At first I was using my normal face wash. I washed my face after every workout. I stopped wearing makeup most every day thinking that was the cause. I began obsessively using face masks to see if anything would help. I’ve never had such bad acne in.my.life. It’s been so bad, my husband asked me if I was pregnant 😒 

I know I have horrible wrinkles in my forehead. I pray someday I can go blow a ton of money on Botox (seriously) and fix all those years of tanorexia. But until then, I’ll just have to hate my forehead. But acne is something that drives me crazy. Literally. I obsess over it. 

I felt like I had tried everything. I haven’t been eating horrible, unless you count Chipotle. Which doesn’t count in my book. I suck at drinking enough water so I started tracking my water intake & set reminders in my phone to drink water (it’s that bad). I started using my high end products that I swear by in hopes those would help – I would name them but I truly believe the product is great, it just wasn’t working this time. So I won’t bash them. 

Every time I’d go to Target, I would browse the aisles for anything that might help. I kept eyeing a particular product but it just seemed like a lot to spend (I’ve been extremely frugal lately) on something from Target. 

You’ll laugh when you see the price. Compared to other products (like the unnamed product above), it’s pennies. But, I kept putting it back on the shelf & saying it was too much. 

Then one day I was fed up. I cringed when I took a selfie & deleted it as fast as I could. I realized I was avoiding taking pictures with my kids because my face was that bad. That’s when I knew enough was enough & I needed to buck up & invest in my face. 

I loaded my cranky kids up, bribed them with cookies & icees (#WorldsOkayestMom) so I could stand in the aisle at Target for 30 minutes convincing myself that I needed to invest in something. I made the decision. I was going to buy it. But not before circling the store 50 times with three kids on the verge of losing their shit at any second trying to talk myself out of it. 

At last. I bought it. With only a little bit (lies, a lot) of regret. I mean what if it doesn’t work?? 

I hurried home, got my not-so-frugal purchases put away, kids down for nap & busted into my new product. Desperation had set in. I was hoping for a one & done miracle. Which, with acne, that’s impossible. One can dream, right? 

I’m pretty much going to die after I post this blog because these picture of my face are repulsive & embarrassing. But I can’t show you the awesome results unless I show you my starting point… 

Here are some before photos… try not to gag. 


That’s not even the worst of it… I refused to take many pictures, remember? 

This next one is a few days into using the products. An improvement if you can believe it! 😱


Excuse the train wreck in my house, I was cleaning like a mad woman & my kids would not stay out of the trash 😷 

Here’s my first selfie while using it… So skeptical & so desperate. 

And almost a week later – I started using them last Friday (2/24/17)!!! 


I tried my best to get the exact same spot in our house, with the same lighting as the first photo. 

Okay. Maybe the results aren’t the same as peeling my face off or using Botox but DANG! In less then a week, for $20, no pain & I can get it at Target?! I’m sold. I can’t wait to see the improvement in a month! 

Here are a few more photos. 


All in different lighting! 

So do you want to know what the product is??? 😜 I hope the suspense doesn’t kill you 😉😉

Hobby Lobby Review 

I lost my Hobby Lobby virginity today. Let me give you my own little review. 

First, the carts. They are so tiny! Even if I didn’t have the twins with me, they are a complete marketing fail. I’m sure husbands everywhere thank god for these tiny little kid carts. I however, do not like them. You’d think they’d want you to have  a mega sized cart. You can fit like 3 things in the cart, pending you have no children with. Which I do advise you don’t bring kids. If you are as crazy as I am, just bring your stroller. It probably holds more & is safer for children. 

  
This also happened…. 

  
I absolutely LOVE everything, okay, most everything there. It’s all so cute. Pinterest worthy for sure. 

My house is officially ugly & I need unlimited funds to go buck wild decorating my house. 

The prices…. This is where they got me. Even with the coupons, they are insanely expensive – back in my frivolous days, I wouldn’t have cared & bought a semi-load of stuff. 

Y’all know you can go to Home Goods, Gordmans & Michael’s for most all of the same items & pay much less, right? Heck, HOM furniture is priced the same. $499 for a freaking mirror? Uh. Nope. I did love it, a lot. But I am 99.99% positive my husband would’ve cut me off completely for the rest of my life if I bought it. Not worth it. 

I’m not saying it isn’t awesome, it really is! I love it there! But I only found a couple good deals & was more disappointed then pleased, mostly due to the prices. 

I LOVE this table. I’m debating going back & buying it. Blame my husband for me not buying it. Oh yeah, and the fact that it wouldn’t fit in my cart. And I couldn’t carry it. 

   
Canvases are cheaper there so I will for sure being going back to stock up on those. 

This sign…. Pretty much made my day. Had it not been $34.99, I would’ve bought it. 


I have to tell you about this lady I saw there. She is a superwoman!!! She had 9, yes, NINE kids with her. She had a stroller that held 6 kids & three walked. All super young.

I tried to get a few videos. For some reason only one the sound worked on – I think my phone is going to get smashed soon. I’m debating posting it. It’s not great but my daughters are in it & they looked absolutely freaking adorable today. 

Overall, I love Hobby Lobby but a bit expensive for what they offer.  

Wanna know how much I spent? NOT A SINGLE PENNY. I was truly that disappointed. Cute stuff, way overrated. I figure we have a couple hundred to spend building a fence around our pool so it’s kid safe. I shouldn’t buy overpriced super cute stuff that I don’t need. Being all responsible & such… It sucks. 

I will likely shop there from time to time & probably drop a pretty penny for the girls first birthday decor there but I doubt I’ll be a Hobby Lobby shopaholic. 

Mean Mom 

If you’re a mom, chances are, you too, are a mean mom. 

My kids haven’t told me I’m a mean mom, yet. But plenty of other people have… And to be completely honest, I’m okay with that. You’re not doing something right if your kids and or bystanders don’t think you’re a mean mom. 

You see, I’m raising the next generation. A generation that I hope is better then the last. 

A generation that says “please & thank you”, a generation that respects their elders, that looks into people’s eyes when they speak to them. A generation that has morals, manners & values. A generation that [overall] follows the rules. A generation that accepts responsibility for their actions. A generation that knows right from wrong & is held accountable for their choices. A generation that stands up for what is right. A generation where doors are held, seats are given up for the elderly, the disabled & the person next to them, because it’s the polite thing to do. A generation where you are no better then the next person. A generation that that is humble, compassionate & self-sufficient, that gives to those in need, even if they don’t have much themselves. 

So, the next time you see me telling my toddler to sit down in his high chair in a restaurant & giving him until the count of three to follow those instructions or we will leave, do not undermine me. The next time I take my child’s food away for throwing it, do not undermine me. The next time you see me hastily removing the kids menu from my child’s hands & crumpling it up into a ball because he was hitting his sister in the face with it, do not undermine me. Do not tell me he was being good. I know he was being good, but he’s not being good right now

When my daughter is older & decides to push your kid at the park, I will make her apologize. I will make her sit in timeout. When she apologizes to your child, do not tell her “it’s okay”. It is not okay. Thank her for apologizing or watch as she learns right from wrong without saying anything. Don’t side-eye me for putting her in timeout on the bench as she watches all the other kids have fun. She won’t be there forever but she will be there long enough to think about her actions. 

When we are at Target & you see my daughter holding the door for you, thank her. Don’t just walk through it & ignore her. I’ve taught her manners, use yours. Be an example. 

My son will mow the neighbors yard when he’s old enough. He won’t be paid for it. And guess what? His sisters will be mowing the lawn of our other neighbors. When we get 3 feet of snow, I will drive them to their grandparents house to shovel them out. They will be thanked & served grandpas famous hot cocoa & maybe even grandmas baking. But they will not be paid. Why? Because we help our neighbors & our elders without expecting anything in return. 

When I tell you that I made my kids donate their toys, don’t tell me I’m mean. I’m teaching them to give to others. Hopefully, one day, I won’t have to make them give their toys to others less fortunate. Hopefully, they’ll want to give their toys to others because they are fortunate enough to have an abundance of toys. 

When I take everything away from my child for stealing & make them earn it back or never get it back, don’t buy them new things. Don’t tell me I’m mean. I’m teaching them a lesson. That people work hard for their things & when it’s taken, they are hurt, disappointed & have to work extra hard to get it back. 

When my kids fight, I will make them hold hands to do their chores. Be it hanging up laundry or doing the dishes, they will hold hands until their chores are complete. You think I’m crazy. I’m not. It’s teaching them to work as a team. Trust me. This one works. My sister & I may or may not have won a game last Christmas where we had to be tied to our partner & wrap a gift ((with ribbon & all)) as fast as possible. We likely won from being forced to hold hands while doing our chores a million times when we were teens. 

When my kids don’t do the dishes right the first time, I may or may not empty every.single.cupboard & make them hand wash & dry the dishes. Why? To teach them to do it right the first time. 

If my son borrows your car, he will put more gas in it then what you gave it to him with. You may even get a car wash, if I raise him right. Why? To teach him to leave things better then when he got them. 

When I tell my toddlers to look someone in the eyes when they are speaking to them, don’t look at me like I’m crazy. Their future employers & clients with thank me. 

When you see my kids looking for work at 14, 15 or 16, don’t call me a mean mom. They will be taught to work for things they want. They will be taught work ethic, time management & responsibility. 

When you see my child struggling to get up the ladder at the park & I’m watching from afar, don’t assume I’m being neglectful. I know my child. I know what they are capable of. Don’t run to their aide. They will struggle, they may fall. But they will get back up & try again.

When you see my son struggling to fix the chain on his bike, you may offer to help, you may teach him by helping, you may not do it for him. He needs to learn, he doesn’t need to rely on others to fix his problems. 

When my daughter gets a flat tire, you may ask if she needs help & see if she’s okay. You may stay to make sure she is okay & safe but if she is in the middle of changing her tire, don’t do it for her. You may help ((lug nuts can be difficult to pry loose)) but please, don’t do it for her. We have taught her how to change her tire. She is not a damsel in distress. 

When my son offers to help you carry your groceries & return your cart for you, he’s being selfless. I don’t care if you’re able bodied, accept the help. We taught him to help others. 

All these little things add up. A multitude of letting things slide or simply not teaching them better, will ruin the next generation. 

Of course, I take into consideration their age, what they are capable of, the situation they are in, their feelings & what they can truly learn from the situation. 

I’m not going to force my child to do something completely unreasonable, out of reach or reprimand them with insane tactics or abuse. But I will teach them better. I will teach them using techniques that worked for my parents, my grandparents & my fellow parents. Don’t undermine me, don’t make excuses for my children ((remember, we are teaching accountability)) & don’t tell me I’m a mean mom ((though you are welcome to think I am, that is your right)), especially in front of my children. They will be calling me a mean mom soon enough, I don’t need you to encourage it any sooner. 

Cheers to all you mean moms out there raising the next generation to be better then the last 🍷